Why you should not propose first and How to start a relation by saying NO first?

Well this is not a hard and fast rule. But this rule is applicable in your own interest. Be not the one who proposes to first. You can propose as a joke that is, you immediately make it clear it was a joke. The

Make her propose to you

reasons why you should not propose first are given below:

• Make her want you: When you both have a great and deep friendship and you still haven’t proposed to her, she will be thinking why you haven’t done so. Also she will be thinking of you more often than not. She will feel irritated when she realizes that she also has feelings for you and you are not reciprocating the same. Her that irritation is good.
• Ball is in your court: When you propose, you are giving her the chance to either accept you or reject you. And even if you say yes the very first time the reverse might not be true. When you propose to her she might give numerous ways why she cannot say yes. But when it her who has proposed the ball is in your court.
• You don’t seem desperate:  When you wait for her to propose or at least make it clear that she is interested in you, you make her feel that you are not desperate and have stronger positive attitude and personality. Trust me she will respect you for that.
• Women like strong men who take action. Really? Yes and No. They do like it when men take action but you making them irritated by not taking action is more beneficial as by not proposing you are not being a weak man. You are being a man who doesn’t know about his feelings just like any actual MAN. The real man, who doesn’t go around town proposing women. It also means that you value her and the friendship with her which is very, very important.
• She will value you: When finally you do start a relation, she will always cherish you as her conquer as she was the one who proposed and conquered you and not the other way round.

What to do when she proposes (if she proposes that is)?

• When she finally proposes, say NO: What? Really? Yes, you read it right. When she finally says she has feelings for you, you say no. How? Ohk. When she has finished proposing or opening her heart- you say “You are not joking right? (Silence for some time) I value our friendship. I have had (or seen) (depending whether you had bad experiences and she knows about it or when you have seen some friends of you suffering) some bad experiences where the friendship broke cause of starting a relationship. I really have very strong feelings for you but I don’t want the same to happen to us. I don’t want to lose you forever. So can I tell you after some time? Till then can we continue to be just friends?” This like- HELL or sometimes not. I mean here the thing is you have made it clear that you have thought about it but haven’t said so because you value her friendship. Though above line is really cheesy, it works.
• Your time to say YES: Well, try to remain friends for some days or maybe a week. Then if she pesters you for an answer, smile and say “you my dear have stolen my heart away”. If that doesn't work I don’t know what will.

The steps mentioned here have their chances of screw ups also. So you are advised to follow them at your discretion. The major problem that can occur is you overdo your part of not proposing and she also doesn't yield to speaking her heart out. In those situations though there are some ways in which you maybe able to make her speak out. But here I would advice you to listen to your heart and do as it says as no one knows better than you. Well, I have not been posting for such a long time and now as I have readers and often am asked doubts I thought of continuing this blog. So this is a dedication to all those who followed this blog and to all those who will in the future. Cya and Happy dating...

How to have a great conversation and build a relationship with a girl through texting (SMS), Whatsapp, FB or BBM?

Best ways to impress girls through texting

In today’s dating scenario there are no relations which can survive without the least bothersome method of communication- texting(sms) or Whatsapp or Viber or BBM or FB. Be what the name, it is the best way for you to start a conversation with a girl and make a deep relation with her. The best thing about texting to impress a girl is that it doesn’t creep into her privacy as she can reply when and if she feels like. Also if you ever build a true relation with her, you can always re-read the old messages from the beginning till the end how the relation came into being and how you can cherish it for the rest of your life. So let us start, shall we?

• Get her number: The best method I prefer is to ask her directly. Though you cannot ask for the number to a girl who doesn’t know you much, you can ask for her number if you have talked to her sometimes. I will be writing another post detailing how to get her number. But for the time being I can say you can ask for her number as long as she doesn’t think you have some hidden agenda (which you have). Make sure you get her number from her itself else you might seem like a stalker and she will feel nervous and closed towards you. Be open and bold. Make it seem as if it’s not a big deal.
• Introduce yourself: As I said in the case of telephone conversation, in messaging also always introduce yourself until and unless you both are already great friends, which I don’t think is the case here. Well introducing yourself if she doesn’t have your number already is also a great conversation starter.  Just message her- “Hi there (or Name), this (your name). You can save this number for reference. Anyways have a great day and take care”. Make sure you send this message in the morning and when she is fresh. Most probably she will respond with thanks and same to you.
• Send her forwards: Forwards is the best way to keep the lines of communication open as well as indirect. But just be sure to send her unique forwards such as jokes or quotes. Something which has not been doing rounds around texting world for long. Also the jokes should not be dirty jokes as it is not time for it yet.
• Keep an eye for her reaction: You should observe her. How she responds, if she is actively ignoring all your messages. If she hasn’t responded to any of your messages you should stop messaging her but not before messaging- “Hey I feel I have been messaging a wrong number all this while, sorry for the inconvenience.” This really calls for some reply. But then again if there are no responses then you should probably not message her until you see her in person. What will you ask her when you see her in person? Just say, “Hey I guess the number I saved last time was wrong, I sent some messages without knowing it. Nothing much just some forwards and a hi.” After saying this, don’t ask for her number. If she has even the slightest of interest in talking to you she will say something, like “oh no the number is mine, I was just busy so couldn’t reply”. So if she says that, then you have to make it clear saying “hey it’s ok, just thought the number was wrong”. Well this is it. If she says that then it means the next time when you message her she will reply for sure.
• Be prompt: In the first few days it is a difficult game. You have to time your messages. If she sends you a message you have to prompt but not so prompt that she might think you don’t have anything else to do. The good rule of thumb is that if you are busy, you don’t have to reply immediately unless it is urgent. If it is urgent be prompt as you have to be seen as someone who is there when the time calls. But let her know that you have taken time from your work or other engagement (but for God’s sake don’t overdo it). You can do that how? Well, suppose you both talk and then when her urgency is solved you tell her you have to rush as someone or some meeting or something else is waiting and you will catch up with her later.
• Be funny: Hey! Can’t stress on this fact enough. Be funny, tease her- but don’t make fun of her. There is difference. Teasing is funny; making fun of her is not. You must have seen in movies like how you compliment her and in the very next sentence you turn it around teasing her. Do the same. She should see your compliments as a start of a joke like- “Oh was waiting for you for so long. Was tired of counting sheeps to go to sleep, now you are here I can fall asleep easily, hehe or :D”. Don’t make any of your teasings personal such as if she has a bad language or she is dark or something don’t tease based on that. She should get used to it your harmless teasings. Then after some time you give her a genuine compliment. She will be able to value it more. You should also use appropriate emoticons wherever you deem fit.
• Building friendship: OK forwarded messages apart, it is time for you to build on the personal messages. Inquire as to how her day was, or sometimes the best way is to ask her opinion on some problem of yours just like you will ask you friends. This genuinely opens up the channel for communication which is easier to keep up. Also this will make her more open to you.
• Give advises: Give her advises when she asks for it. She might tell you some problem of her. If she does it means she is seeking your opinion. Give her your genuine opinion. If she is not exactly asking for your help just say, “I know I am no one to tell you but, don’t you think….(explain what the solution should be)”.
• Talking dirty: No it doesn't mean you start message sex but it means you both come out of your comfort shell and be more open to each other. SMS sex is whole another ball game and so is talking dirty. This will be covered in detail in a future post. Well the start of talking dirty is sending forwards. But in order to make sure how she feels just her an adult message immediately followed by a very, very, very sorry message saying it was wrongly forwarded. While a sorry or very sorry message might get ignored, a very very very sorry message seldom does. This is to get her reaction. Based on that you can move forward.Talking dirty is not just for your sexual satisfaction but rather for you both to be more open.
• More personal talks: If things have gone well so far, you have to go to more personal talks like actual indirect flirting. What is that you ask? Tell her how you wish you could marry her. She will be like what? Then you say, yes I have done so many sins, it is better that I suffer for all that here on earth itself so that I am not taken to hell. She knows you didn't mean it. But it’s indirect. She can’t blame you. The ending of this step is when you can say “I love you” to each other knowing very well that it’s not that type of love. You may like when she says something you really liked may kiss her (thru message of course) on her forehead or cheeks. That too can be explained in detail. So yes another blog topic to write about. Keep posted to read more.

In the end of all this you have a friend who might just turn out to be something more. You can talk to her over phone and here are ways to have a great telephone conversation. Use all the things you learnt here in ways you deem fit. But do remember in all these steps and unlimited flirting you never propose to her. You don’t want to be the first to propose. Why? Post will come. Be the butterfly that’s beautiful to look at but difficult to catch. So that’s all for this post which has already turned out to be so freaking long. So cya for now and happy dating.